Melody of the Heartbroken Clown
by Ketakoshka Kathleen Castlionia
Summary: Throughout Allen Walker's entire life, he's had someone to watch over him and love him: Crown Clown. One day, Allen meets his innocence for real for the first time... Crown Clown x Allen, mentioned Mugen x Kanda


_**Happy Birthday to me! Like last year when I wrote Louder Than Thunder, I've decided to write a birthday present to myself.**_

_**This one is a Crown Clown x Allen fic, so obviously Yaoi, my speciallity.**_

_**So enjoy!**_

_**Love, Keta**_

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**Edit: the sequel is now up.**

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Melody of a Heartbroken Clown

CC's POV

Everyday, I watched you as you grew, never talking or noticing me. In fact, you despised me for all of the pain and suffering I brought you due to my grotesque appearance. Yet I watched and grew stronger and older with you.

In time, I began to love you.

It wasn't until the death of your beloved adoptive father, Mana that you found out what I was, yet still you despised me. I didn't care. I still stood beside you, protecting you when all was lost until you began to understand me.

When you finally were out from under Cross, that freaking lunatic of a womanizing drunkard (I hate him! Although, Judgement is kind of nice.), I felt even closer to you. The Black Order finally opened your eyes to friendship and helped your trust in me grow.

Have I ever told you how much I love you?

I love you enough to save your life despite the imminence of my own. I never expected to survive, but I guess that's a good thing because I can continue to protect you. I will always protect you...

Allen... I love you so much. And you'll never see it, because you can't see me as a person. You aren't meant to. But I want you all to my own. How selfish is that wish? Especially, when I know it will always be fruitless.

But for now, I am just content being by your side; I'm content as Crown Clown, the incapable of feelings innocence.

* * *

Allen's POV

I wake in a dream, but not one I normally would see. Anymore, it's all nightmares that end in soft white light and a sense of security and love. This one is completely different. The sky is white with no moon or sun, like it's a room, but the soft breeze that ruffles my hair tells me it's not. The grass beneath my feet is cool and black, and I just want to lay down on the expanse of nothingness. But the soft sound of sobbing pulls me away. It leads me to a pond covered in lava-like ice on which a white figure is bent over crying. Before I can go to it, a soft voice sends a sorrowful melody into the air.

_"My existence pleads for nothingness_

_A life of only emptiness_

_So that at last you'll see me_

_A scream of light_

_In the dead of night_

_All these words, I know, will haunt me_

_You took my heart in your hand_

_Showed me love_

_And then you left without me_

_But I won't let go_

_And I won't stop, you know_

_Cause there's something I want_

_And I know, I'm not patient_

_No, I'm not patient_

_I've lived a life of horridness_

_While I try to give you bliss_

_So you can at last feel free_

_The wielder of my tamed heart_

_I wish that you would finally start_

_To let me, to set me free_

_It's a dark and lonely road_

_When there's no where else to go_

_But I love you_

_Yes, I love you_

_But you don't love... me... back..."_

Finally I realize who this is, who's hauntingly familiar voice has always been beside me. "Crown Clown?"

He turns around sharply, surprise crossing his features. "Allen?" I nod too startled by his captivating features to speak. Ivory hair, silvery-blue eyes and pale white skin: a beautiful sight to behold. "What're you doing here?"

"I don't know. What is this place?"

"My realm, I live here when I'm not helping you fight."

"Why's it so colorless?"

"Because these are the colors I love. Red, white and black are the colors that make up the one I love."

"Who?" I ask, most definitely curious.

"It's a secret," he teases, getting up from the ice and walking towards me. "But I guess I could give you a hint." He stops right in front of me, a sorrowful smile on his lips. "He's someone I've known for years."

"But you've really only known me, Mana, Master and Judgement for a long time."

"Yes, but my love is still alive and will aways be near me. And I, in turn, will always protect him..."

_'Moyashi!'_

Crown Clown looks up at the sky. "I believe that Lavi is attempting to wake you."

"Me too," I admit, feeling consciousness start to make my dream perception fuzzy. "But, Crown Clown..."

"CC," he says and reaches out to touch my cheek. "The other innocences call me CC. I want you to too."

"Okay... CC..."

* * *

I open my eyes to Lavi's excited stupidity. "Morning, Moyashi."

"It's Allen." I sit up quickly and hop out of bed, completely aware of a happy pulse coming from the cross on my left hand. It brings a smile to my face. "So, what do you need?"

"You're supposed to go see Hevlaska. She felt that there was something strange going on with Crown Clown last night."

"Kay!" I chirp and launch out of the door, having fallen asleep in my uniform.

* * *

Hevlaska's tentacle-thingies are wrapped around me tightly, CC reacting more vigorously to the pulses she sends. "I don't understand it," she says, lowering me to the ground.

"Understand what?" Komui asks from my side.

"Crown Clown was attacking me. Not enough to hurt me but enough to be a deterrent. It was a warning against harming Allen at all..." She extends a tentacle to touch CC again only to recoil. "Okay, that one stung. He's really violent today." She turns her question to me. "Have you had any change in your relationship with your innocence."

"I talked to CC last night when I was sleeping."

Hevlaska smiles. "So he told you Mugen's nickname for him, other than cotton candy brain."

"Yeah," I laugh, feeling his sulking energy pulse from the cross. "He really hates when Mugen calls him that."

She laughs. "I am aware. But we have the topic of his protectiveness at hand now. Did he tell you anything last night?"

"That he's in love with someone, a guy."

Her sweet smile grows. "Now I see."

"See what?" I ask, beyond curious.

"You'll just have to wait and find out."

"Eh?!"

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CC's POV

I'm relaxing on my crimson ice pond when Allen falls asleep in reality and awakens to my world. "CC!" he cries, running toward me.

"What's the rush about?" The grin that began to form is stifled when I see his frown.

"Why were you attacking Hevlaska earlier?"

I groan. She fucking told on me... "I always do. I might have been a little more brutal this time, but I attack the innocences of most people who touch you."

"Why?"

Oh, my God. Is he really that dense? "Allen, what did I reveal to you yesterday?"

"That you love someone."

"Yes. Now I want you to think. Who in this entire world of people that I've met are mainly of the colors black, red and white. I mean appearance and clothing."

His look of confusion melts into shock. "You mean..."

"Yes."

"You love me?"

"I do." I stand up and move towards him, cupping a pale cheek before pressing my lips against his. "I love you, Allen. I will always love you."

He blinks before smiling widely and says something I'd never thought would come from her mouth. "I love you too..."

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Allen's POV

A smile stands permeantly on my face, a real one as I walk into the cafeteria and rattle off my order to Jerry. Then in a fit of what has to be suicidal behavior, I sit at Kanda's table. The grouchy exorcist looks at me with barely reined in fury. "What the hell are you doing at my table, Moyashi?"

"Because I want to tell you a secret, BaKanda. And it's Allen."

"Alright, tell me the damn secret."

I smile cruelly. "Not until I'm finished eating."

"Fine," he growls, picking at his food to keep from looking up at me.

"Done!" Finally, his head raises. "So... are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes..."

"Okay!" I chirp. "Mugen loves you! So bye!" My feet are carrying me faster then I ever realized they could.

"How the fuck did you find out?!" he screams, racing after me.

"CC told me!"

"Damnit! I'm going to kill that fucking clown too!"

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**_There may be a companion piece to this involving Mugen and Kanda_**_**. If I do write it, it'll be called The Japanese Angel.**_

_**So should I?**_


End file.
